Sunday August 17, 2008

Making Changes: The Road to Recovery – Part 5
Romans 12:1-2

Original message by Rick Warren – used by permission and modified by Kelly Cohoe

I. Introduction

Over the last two months, I have been speaking about “The Road to Recovery.”

In this series we are looking at how to handle the hurts, habits, and hang-ups that are messing up our lives.

I am also preaching through this series (which originated with Rick Warren and Saddleback Church in Southern California) to introduce us all to the Celebrate Recovery program that we will be officially launching in just a few weeks.

In this series we have taken the word “recovery,” and each week we have used a different letter to represent eight steps
that help us get unstuck from the habits that mess us up, the problems that cause us difficulties, and the memories we can’t seem to let go of.

The first week we talked about the Reality Step – “Realize I’m not God, that I’m powerless to control my tendency to
do the wrong thing, and that my life is unmanageable.”

The next week we talked about the Hope Step – Although I’m powerless to control all the problems in my life, God has
the power to control them. The E stands for “Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.”

In our third week we talked about the Commitment Step – It is not enough to know that I’ve got problems and God can solve them, but I must “Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.”

The O in the word recovery stands for “Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to someone I trust.”

In this step we clean up the past, let go of guilt, gain a clear conscience, and learn to live the guilt-free life God wants
us to live.

This week we are going to look at step five.

The V in the word recovery stands for “Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly
ask Him to remove my character defects.”

This is based on Romans 12:1-2: “And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into
a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” (NLT)

This passage addresses God’s desire to transform us into the people He created us to be.

How does this change occur? We are transformed when we change the way we think.

II. Ch-Ch-Changes

As we look at allowing God to bring needed changes into our lives, we need to begin by asking ourselves a question.

   A. Where do my character defects come from?

Most of our character defects come from three sources: our chromosomes, our circumstances, and our choices.

   1. Our chromosomes—some of our character issues are actually inherited.

Your mother and your father each contributed 23,000 chromosomes to you, and so you inherited some of their
weaknesses. You inherited some physical issues from your parents, and you inherited some emotional defects from
your parents.

This explains our predisposition towards certain problems. But it doesn’t excuse a sin. For instance, on my mom’s side
they have a tendency to all be overweight.

I obviously have a predisposition to this same issue, but that doesn’t excuse me from doing everything I can to keep
my weight down.

There can be genetic tendencies toward certain addictions, but that doesn’t excuse us to go out and make the choice to become addicted.

The reality is that there are genetic dispositions that we inherit from our parents that may make us more susceptible to
certain character issues.

   2. Our circumstances—how we were raised can be another source of character problems.

You were raised a certain way, and this deeply influences how you relate to others, your patterns, and your habits.

You learned from your parents and you learned from other people. You learned to respond to your own needs in certain ways and how to cover for yourself, how to handle hurt and rejection.

A lot of your issues are simply self-defeating attempts to meet unmet childhood needs. You have a legitimate need for respect. But if you didn’t get respect early in life, you settled for attention and figured out a way to get attention in many various ways.

You have a legitimate need for love, but if you didn’t get love you may have settled for cheap sex to get the
emotional closeness.

   3. Our choices

If you choose to do something long enough, it becomes a habit. Once it becomes a habit, you’re stuck. Things you never intended to develop in your life develop because you chose to do a certain thing that became a habit.

Why does it take so long to get rid of these things? Why is it so difficult? You’ve tried fads and therapies and books and seminars.

   B. Why is it so hard to change the hurts, habits and hang-ups in our lives?

   1. Because we have had them so long.

You didn’t get them overnight. It took years and you’re not going to lose them overnight. Many of the habits and patterns you have you developed in childhood.

They may not be comfortable and they may even be self-defeating, but at least they are familiar.

   2. Because we often confuse our defects with our identity.

We say, “That’s just the way I am.” But we don’t have to be that way. We can change.

When you say, “That’s just the way I am,” you’re identifying your identity with your defeats.

Complete this sentence (in your mind) “It’s just like me to be _______________________.” (a workaholic, overweight, anxious, passive and let people run over me, fearful, to lose my temper.)

When you do this you set yourself up for failure and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You set yourself up by saying, “That’s who I am.” What happens is that unconsciously, one of the reasons you can’t change is because you’re afraid: “If I really let go of this defect, will I still be me? This has been a part of me. I’ve always been this. If I let go of it, will I still be me?”

Why is it so hard to change the defects in my life?

   3. Because there is a payoff.

Every defect has a payoff. It may mask my pain. It may give me an excuse to fail. It may allow me to compensate for
guilt in my life. It may get me attention. My defect may allow me to control other people.

We don’t do things that don’t get rewarded. You may have never thought about it that way but there’s a payoff. You may just be getting attention by your defect. You may be getting to control somebody by your defect. So there’s a payoff and unconsciously you don’t want to let go of that payoff.

A mother says to the kids, “Kids, come down to dinner.” And they don’t come. So she yells, “Kids, come down
to dinner.” They come. We set up our mothers to yell. She figures out yelling works – there’s a payoff. You have to be aware of that.

   4. Because Satan constantly seeks to discourage us.

He’s constantly suggesting negative thoughts. He’s the accuser. He says, “This will never work, you can’t do it, you
can’t change.”

You want to change and perhaps you have had a glimmer of hope that change is possible, but then you begin to hear in
your mind: “Who do you think you are? You think you’re going to change? Forget it! Other people can change, but not
you. You’re stuck. It’s hopeless. Don’t even think about changing.”

We think these thoughts originate in our own minds, but the Scripture makes it clear that they come from the accuser – the devil. He’s always saying these negative thoughts to us.

III. How Do I Cooperate With God’s Change Process in My life?

At this point you may be saying to yourself, “Enough already! I realize I have character issues in my life! And I am painfully aware of how difficult it is to heal the hurts, change my habits, and find freedom from my hang-ups.”

Unfortunately, I do not feel like I can take the time today to share with you seven ways to change your thinking that will help facilitate God’s transforming work in your life.

So, you will have to come back next week to hear the rest of this message.

But in order not to leave you totally hanging, I have asked Harry to come up and share what God is doing in his life and how he is cooperating with God’s change process in his life.