Sunday July 27, 2008

Coming Clean
The Road to Recovery – Part 4
Psalm 32:1-7

Original message by Rick Warren/modified by Kelly Cohoe

I. Introduction

The story is told about two boys who were neighbors. They were best of friends on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, but on Sunday they were enemies because one was a Catholic and the other was a Baptist.

Their parents didn't like the fact that these religious differences were producing such uncongenial relations, so they agreed
to have their sons visit each other's church services so that a mutual understanding might foster a more tolerant attitude.

On the first Sunday, the Baptist boy visited the Catholic church. Just before they sat down, the Catholic boy genuflected. "What's that mean?" the Baptist asked. All through the mass, the Baptist boy wanted to know what this and that meant,
and the little Catholic boy explained everything very nicely.

The next Sunday it was the Catholic boy's turn to visit the Baptist church. When they walked in the building, an usher
handed them a printed bulletin. The little Catholic boy had never seen anything like that before in his whole life. "What's that mean?" he asked. His Baptist friend carefully explained. When the preacher stepped into the pulpit, he carefully opened
his Bible, and conspicuously took off his watch and laid it on the pulpit. "What's that mean?" the Catholic boy asked.

The Baptist boy said, "Not a lousy thing!"

    —Justin Wilson and Howard Jacobs, Cajun Humor (Pelican Press, 1984); submitted by Van Morris, Mount
       Washington, Kentucky.

Over the last few weeks, I have been speaking about “The Road to Recovery.”

In this series we are looking at how to handle the hurts, habits, and hang-ups that are messing up our lives.

I am also preaching through this series (which originated with Rick Warren and Saddleback Church in Southern California) to introduce us all to the Celebrate Recovery program that we will be officially launching in just a few weeks.

In this series we have taken the word “recovery” and each week we have used a different letter to represent eight steps
that help us get unstuck from the habits that mess us up, the problems that cause us difficulties, the memories we can’t
seem to let go of.

The first week we talked about the Reality Step – “Realize I’m not God, that I’m powerless to control my tendency to
do the wrong thing and my life is unmanageable.”

In reality I realize that I have problems I can’t seem to control.

The next week we talked about the Hope Step – Although I’m powerless to control all the problems in my life, God
has the power to control them. The E stands for “Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has
the power to help me recover.”

In our third week we talked about the Commitment Step – It is not enough to know that I’ve got problems and God can solve them, but I must “Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.”

II. Step Four – The Housecleaning Step

The O in the word recovery stands for “Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to
someone I trust.”

In this step we clean up the past, let go of guilt, gain a clear conscience, and learn to live the guilt-free life God wants
us to live.

Why is this a part of the recovery process? Guilt keeps us stuck in the past. Guilt keeps us from growing, from becoming
all God wants us to be.

The truth is that none of us are faultless. We all have sins, we’ve all made mistakes. So we all have regrets. We all
have remorse. We all have things we wish we could turn back the clock on and say, “I wish I would have done that differently” – but you didn’t and you can’t.

As a result we carry guilt around—sometimes consciously, but most of the time unconsciously.

We may deny the guilt. We may repress the guilt. We may blame other people for our guilt. We may excuse our guilt.
We may rationalize our guilt. But we still feel the effects of it.

If you’re really going to recover from the hurts, habits, and hang-ups in your life, you’ve got to learn how to let go of
guilt and live with a clear conscious.

Psalms 32:1-2 says, “Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! 2 Yes,
what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!” (NLT)

How do you get rid of guilt? By taking Step 4 in the Road to Recovery – Openly examine and confess my faults to God, to myself, and to someone I trust.

Why is this step so important?

   A. Guilt destroys your confidence.

Think about Adam and Eve – before they disobeyed the command of God the Bible says that God would come and walk with them. They were confident of God’s love for them and enjoyed His presence.

But look at what happens after they have sinned: “When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his
wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’ 10 He replied, ‘I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.’” (Genesis 3:8-10, NLT)

You cannot be a confident person if you have guilt in your life. It makes you feel insecure because you’re always
worried, “What if somebody finds out?

It has been said that many years ago Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, writer of the Sherlock Holmes novels, played a prank on
five of the most prominent men in England. He sent an anonymous note to those five men that simply said this: “All is found out, flee at once.” Within twenty-four hours all five men had left the country.

   B. Guilt damages your relationships.

Guilt causes us to respond to people in wrong ways. Guilt can make us impatient or angry.

Guilt can cause you to spoil or indulge people. An absent parent often feels guilty and overcompensates by indulging.

Guilt can cause you to avoid commitment in relationship. A lot of marriage problems today are caused by things that happened prior to marriage that a spouse still feels guilty about. (Premarital sex)

If your guilt is associated with someone (you have sinned against them) then you do not want to be around them!

   C. Guilt keeps you stuck in the past.

Living in the past is like driving while always looking in the rearview mirror. You’re going to end up crashing if you do
that. You can’t just look at life in a rearview mirror. It gives perspective but you don’t constantly look at it.

What guilt does is it tends to replay in your mind over and over the things you wish you could change but are never going
to change. Guilt cannot change the past, just like worry cannot change the future.

   D. Guilt can lead to mental, emotional and physical ailments.

“When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. 4 Day and night your hand
of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.” (Psalms 32:3-4, NLT)

There are psychiatrists who say that a majority (up to 70%) of people in the hospital would not have ended up there if
they were able to resolve their guilt.

When I swallow my guilt my stomach keeps score, and if I don’t talk it out to God and to others I end up taking it
out on myself.

This is an important step. It can also be a scary step. This is what separates those who want to talk about recovery and
those who really want to experience recovery

III. Application: How do I openly confess my sin?

   A. Take a personal moral inventory.

What that means is that you get alone by yourself. You get a pencil and a notepad and you sit down and say, “What is
wrong with me? What have I felt guilty about? What have I regretted? What have I felt remorseful about? What are the
faults in my life that I know need changing?”

“Let us examine our ways and test them.” (Lamentations 3:40)

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me
that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” (Psalms 139:23-24, NLT)

When you take this moral inventory, you need to take your time – don’t rush it.

This doesn’t work unless you are ruthlessly honest with yourself. And you say, “I’m going to be dead honest, quit
pretending, I’m going to lay out what’s wrong with my life,” and you sit down and start writing it down.

Why in writing? Because it forces you to be specific.

You can’t just say, “God, I’ve blown it in life.” We all know that. Take the time, make the effort and write it down.

   B. Accept responsibility for my faults.

“Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, ‘I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.’” (Psalms 32:5, NLT)

Healing and recovery starts with being radically honest and saying, “I’m the problem.”

This was the revelation that was the beginning of my journey to Christ.

You don’t rationalize it. You don’t minimize it. You don’t say, “It’s no big deal.” If it’s no big deal, why do you still remember it twenty years later?

Don’t blame others – it may be mostly their fault, but God holds you responsible for the one percent that’s your fault.
It may have been mostly their fault but what about your one percent?

You make a moral inventory and then you look at that list and say, “Yes, that’s me. I accept responsibility for my faults.”

   C. Ask God for forgiveness.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
(1 John 1:9, NLT)

The Bible in Basic English reads, “If we say openly that we have done wrong.”

If we say openly that we have done wrong, God will forgive us.

You don’t have to beg for God to forgive. He already wants to forgive you. God wants to forgive you more than you
want to ask for forgiveness. He is a forgiving God. You don’t have to beg.

Don’t try to bargain with God – “If You’ll just forgive me, I’ll never do this again.”

Don’t try to bribe God – “God if You’ll forgive me, I promise to do a bunch of good things. I’ll go to church, I’ll tithe,
I’ll do this or that …”

All you need to do is say openly that you have sinned and then believe in your heart that God has forgiven you.

As a pastor, nothing shocks me anymore. I’ve heard it all. There is no sin you could think of that I haven’t already heard
of and somebody’s told me personally. And every time I’ve taken people through this process of confession, I have seen dramatic change in their lives.

Isaiah 1:18 says, “‘Come now, let's settle this,’ says the Lord. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet,
I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.’” (NLT)

It is like God is saying, “Look, you don’t need to hold on to your guilt any longer; confess your sin and allow Me to completely cleanse you of your guilt and shame.”

   D. Admit my faults to another person.

God says it is absolutely essential for your recovery.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16, NLT)

How are we healed? By admitting our faults to one another. Why do I need to drag another person into this?
Why can’t I just admit it to God? Why don’t I just pray about it, make a list, talk to God about it? Why do I need to
tell another person?

Because confessing my faults to another person requires humility and “God gives grace to the humble.”

Also, when you risk honesty with one person, this feeling of freedom comes into your life. You realize that everybody has problems, and often they have the same ones you do.

Do I just go out and broadcast my sins to everybody? No. Telling the wrong person could be big trouble. You don’t
just go out and indiscriminately tell your problems.

Who do you tell?

   1. Somebody you trust. Somebody who can keep a confidence, who is not a gossip and who has a reputation for
       keeping a confidence.

   2. Somebody who understands the value of what you’re doing.

   3. Somebody who is mature enough that they are not going to be shocked.

   4. Somebody who knows the Lord well enough that they can reflect His forgiveness to you. That may be a lay
       pastor, a close trusted friend, a Christian counselor. Most genuine Christians I know would be honored to listen
       to your fourth step.

Then what do you say?

You find a safe place and take your moral inventory list and say, “I just need somebody to listen to me take my fourth
step in recovery. Here’s some things I know are wrong in my life, this is what I’ve done, this is what I’ve felt. Here are the habits, the hurts, the hang-ups.”

You don’t have to tell everybody, just somebody. And all of a sudden the secret that’s been making you sick stops making you sick because you start sharing it. Remember, be specific.

The secret you want to conceal the most is the one you need to reveal the most because that’s the one that will heal you,
so you can experience God’s grace.

When do you do it?

As soon as possible. Don’t procrastinate.

   E. Accept God’s forgiveness and forgive myself.

“He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” (Psalms 103:12, NLT)

“Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, ‘I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.’ And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.” (Psalms 32:5, NLT)